96% of my soul is a dead robot.
1% is stored away in a cute little box.
1% was sold to a snake oil salesman.
1% moved to Arizona.
1% is controlled by an evil clown. I just want that 1% back.
96% of my soul is a dead robot.
Because I’ve been on oral contraceptives (the PILL) for so many years, I have the tendency to rule the roost when it comes to other women, who spend a fair amount of time in my proxiemty, cycles. But today I discovered that my co-worker and I are on the same pill cycle…which is a rarity.
(She made me aware that it is PMS that is making me hyper annoyed with men today)
But this is tumblr worthy, because rather than two women in a heightened hormonal state going fist to cuffs, our forces have seemed to merge into one She-ra esque princess of power!
WE HATE EVERYONE ELSE…TOGETHER!
The female bond has never felt stronger.
Its weird that it takes the loss of someone to make you realize you should cherish what you have. I lost a dear friend this week, strangely I was just talking about him the night he passed. It was just a passing mention, but my train of thought made me think about the last email I had I from him:
“Ok baby cant wait to see you too. Mike”
Strange that I thought of that, and then the next morning I was awoken by a phone call with the terrible news. The fact has begun to sink in that I wont be seeing him soon. But I am comforted in that the last words I have from him are sweet and meaningful. I will cherish that the last words told me he cared.
I am supringly an unemotional person when i comes to real feelings…sure happiness, and anger, those are easy to feel, but intimate emotions for others are not only hard for me to acknowledge, but demonstrating them is like speaking Chinese (i dont know how to speak Chinese).
I feel like I woke up today wanting to make some changes, or rather efforts in my life. I dont know if its because its the first day of Lent, and I was already in that state of mind, but I feel like its important to make a concerted effort to tell the people I care about, that I do.
I dont know why I have always felt to show another person they mean something to you to be a weakness. I suppose its a defense mechanism for fear the sentiment not being reciprocated, but I have been this way since childhood.
I am the type of person who will tell myself to do something, and not do it, but if I tell someone else, I will follow through. This is why I need to publicly put this out there. I need to be accountable, as should we all. Its a GOOD thing to express that we give a damn. I have felt like I have been going through some changes for a while, but like I’ve been in a tunnel, and now I finally see the light.
My friend never had a problem telling people exactly how he felt about any situation or person, sometimes it would be brash, but deep down he was such a sweet, caring man, who would let you know how much you meant to him. He was not afraid of the reaction of others. So I am going to try to not be afraid of feeling, and let people know that they mean something to me.
We never know what could be our last words to someone, so I am going to make a concerted effort to always have a last word that is meaningful.
Thanks for reading. You mean alot to me.
Tonight I will be attending BACK TO THE FUTURE’s theatrical re-release for its 25th anniversary (and for the record, i did see it in the theatre in 1985). I will be in costume as a slutty Marty McFly, with my very own George McFly in tow. Be jealous.